Just need to vent...

Hi Everyone!

Im not quite sure where to start. My hair is finally red again. So i feel like myself. Yaaaay! We are still trying to get our house a for sale sign. What a process that is. It doesnt help at all that our schedule is completely opposite of most people. And, im frusterated that David and I have one day off every two weeks together-which is always booked up-with most recently-moving. Packing is going slow. The rain is making me grumpy!

Okay, on a good note: My little sister Cassie and her Fiance Matt, had their baby!!!!!! On June 16th. Miss Audrey Estelle made her appearance at 5:20 pm, weighed 8lbs 3oz, and was 21" (i think?). She is a gorgeous baby. Im so proud of my lil sis. Shes doing a great job! I got to be there during the birth, and im honored that the two of them would share that special experience with me. Being there for her, and helping them, made me really want to pursue the thought of being a Doula, or L&D nurse. Ahhhh....dreams. But, I did feel right being there, I felt as if it were the right job for me. Helping a baby into the world is an amazing thing. I cant even explain it. We are kitty-sitting Cassie's kitty Jax too. He loved little Audrey so much, he wouldnt stop sneaking in her bassinette at night. So, he's here, with us. he's doing good adjusting. He definately doesnt like the big dogs. Ollie loves him lol.

The FREAKING rain needs to go away. It makes the dogs CRAZY. I cant wait to let them out into a fenced in yard, just to run! They need to run run run! They dont listen very well, and usually end up in the woods, or neighbors yards in Windham. But, when we move to Pownal they will be fenced in. I am excited to be more organized. Seeing my house in pieces right now, makes me wig out. I want to be able to cook my family good meals. Having dinner every night, together, would make me so happy. But, trying to find meals that David and I agree on...are few and far between. Pasta, Pizza, Chicken and Steak. And...Corn, String beans, asparagus, and rice are a few things we agree on. One thing I will make sure-Addison will LOVE her fruits and veggies! david hates fruit. So, it makes groceries and meals really hard when he is such a picky eater. I will give him a little credit, he will try new things, but usually doesnt like it. His newest find: Chicken pot pies. he likes them. LOL. Oh Oh Oh! Another good thing, after months, we finally got our tax returns. WOOT!

I want to go to the beach, I want to be careless and not worry about time. I have cut back on breastfeeding. Well, the pumping part. I dont make enough to keep up with my little brute. It breaks my heart. I think if I could be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) things would be totally different. But, I cant let her starve. She eats 3 solid meals a day, and she nurses and has formula in between. Right now shes having a growthspurt and shes having a hard time with teething. Still no teeth. But, hey she was walking at 9 months. Addie has been ahead on everything else. So, I dont mind that the teeth are somewhat late. We had to get a pack of disposable diapers, which bugs me. I'm having issues with some type of ammonia or detergent burn. So, Ive been trying to figure out a wash routine that works for us. We have hard water, thats treated with a softener. That makes things diffucult.

There are so many things I want to do this summer. We finally, after 3 years (our wedding) have a vacation!!! We could finally afford one. So, camping, davids gallbladder surgery, the boston aquarium, a concert in boston, a wedding in NH, more camping, beach....are all things i plan to tackle this summer. David will begin classes again at SMCC this fall. And, I have to remind myself to stop and breathe. I need to enjoy Addie while I can. Shes growing up so fast, and shes so smart. I want David to finish College before I even think about going. I have a feeling it will be a while, or maybe never. Oh well. Its a dream, and sometimes they come true. And, we are trying to plan baby #2, I guess you cant really plan them haha. They show up when they want, or when they are meant to be in your life. I have no idea if more kids are meant to be. But, If they are, I would love to have them. Im sure Addie would love a sibling. As one of my very old, very good friends put it: I told my husband I wanted another baby. He said no. I said, you went to school for what you wanted to do in life. There is no school for what I want to be which is a mom. There are promotions in your job. There are more babies as promotions, in my job. lol. thats probably not exactly word for word what my friend said, but I love the point.

I have been trying to get out of my negative funk. I think blogging helps, it makes me see the negative points I need to work on, and the positive good stuff in life, i can look forward to. Goodnight Moon.