Monday, June 27, 2011
Night #2 of not STTN.
I think not having a normal schedule is finally come back to bite me in the ass. Last night Addie woke up in the middle of the night. SCREAMING. Me, only having 2 hours of sleep, jumped up in a panic, to burst into her room, because I needed to see what was hurting my precious baby. David and I assumed it was a nightmare. Well, now im thinking not, seems shes up again today. This boggles my mind. Addison has always been an amazing sleeper, which started at a young age. 7 or 8 months of NEVER waking up, and sleeping 10+ hours thru the night. So why the hell is she waking up now!!?!?!?!!? I hope she passes out soon, yesterday It took 2 hours. Right now, we are listening to the toddler station on Pandora, waiting patiently for Dadda to get out of work. If she keeps this not STTN (sleeping thru the night) thing up, I might have to change our schedule to a normal people day. up at 7 or 8. to bed at 9 pm. The only different, new thing, was I gave her blueberries. Maybe those upset her belly? too acidic? no idea. Im tired, and need this baby to go back to bed. *grumble*...... I knoooooow two nights out of 8 months really isnt that bad. But, Im used to a routine. Messy routines make me grumpy, and make for a long day.
![]()
![]()
I love this kid. Unconditionally. Just PLEASE GO BACK TO BED!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Just need to vent...
Hi Everyone!
Im not quite sure where to start. My hair is finally red again. So i feel like myself. Yaaaay! We are still trying to get our house a for sale sign. What a process that is. It doesnt help at all that our schedule is completely opposite of most people. And, im frusterated that David and I have one day off every two weeks together-which is always booked up-with most recently-moving. Packing is going slow. The rain is making me grumpy!
Okay, on a good note: My little sister Cassie and her Fiance Matt, had their baby!!!!!! On June 16th. Miss Audrey Estelle made her appearance at 5:20 pm, weighed 8lbs 3oz, and was 21" (i think?). She is a gorgeous baby. Im so proud of my lil sis. Shes doing a great job! I got to be there during the birth, and im honored that the two of them would share that special experience with me. Being there for her, and helping them, made me really want to pursue the thought of being a Doula, or L&D nurse. Ahhhh....dreams. But, I did feel right being there, I felt as if it were the right job for me. Helping a baby into the world is an amazing thing. I cant even explain it. We are kitty-sitting Cassie's kitty Jax too. He loved little Audrey so much, he wouldnt stop sneaking in her bassinette at night. So, he's here, with us. he's doing good adjusting. He definately doesnt like the big dogs. Ollie loves him lol.
![]()
The FREAKING rain needs to go away. It makes the dogs CRAZY. I cant wait to let them out into a fenced in yard, just to run! They need to run run run! They dont listen very well, and usually end up in the woods, or neighbors yards in Windham. But, when we move to Pownal they will be fenced in. I am excited to be more organized. Seeing my house in pieces right now, makes me wig out. I want to be able to cook my family good meals. Having dinner every night, together, would make me so happy. But, trying to find meals that David and I agree on...are few and far between. Pasta, Pizza, Chicken and Steak. And...Corn, String beans, asparagus, and rice are a few things we agree on. One thing I will make sure-Addison will LOVE her fruits and veggies! david hates fruit. So, it makes groceries and meals really hard when he is such a picky eater. I will give him a little credit, he will try new things, but usually doesnt like it. His newest find: Chicken pot pies. he likes them. LOL. Oh Oh Oh! Another good thing, after months, we finally got our tax returns. WOOT!
I want to go to the beach, I want to be careless and not worry about time. I have cut back on breastfeeding. Well, the pumping part. I dont make enough to keep up with my little brute. It breaks my heart. I think if I could be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) things would be totally different. But, I cant let her starve. She eats 3 solid meals a day, and she nurses and has formula in between. Right now shes having a growthspurt and shes having a hard time with teething. Still no teeth. But, hey she was walking at 9 months. Addie has been ahead on everything else. So, I dont mind that the teeth are somewhat late. We had to get a pack of disposable diapers, which bugs me. I'm having issues with some type of ammonia or detergent burn. So, Ive been trying to figure out a wash routine that works for us. We have hard water, thats treated with a softener. That makes things diffucult.
There are so many things I want to do this summer. We finally, after 3 years (our wedding) have a vacation!!! We could finally afford one. So, camping, davids gallbladder surgery, the boston aquarium, a concert in boston, a wedding in NH, more camping, beach....are all things i plan to tackle this summer. David will begin classes again at SMCC this fall. And, I have to remind myself to stop and breathe. I need to enjoy Addie while I can. Shes growing up so fast, and shes so smart. I want David to finish College before I even think about going. I have a feeling it will be a while, or maybe never. Oh well. Its a dream, and sometimes they come true. And, we are trying to plan baby #2, I guess you cant really plan them haha. They show up when they want, or when they are meant to be in your life. I have no idea if more kids are meant to be. But, If they are, I would love to have them. Im sure Addie would love a sibling. As one of my very old, very good friends put it: I told my husband I wanted another baby. He said no. I said, you went to school for what you wanted to do in life. There is no school for what I want to be which is a mom. There are promotions in your job. There are more babies as promotions, in my job. lol. thats probably not exactly word for word what my friend said, but I love the point.
I have been trying to get out of my negative funk. I think blogging helps, it makes me see the negative points I need to work on, and the positive good stuff in life, i can look forward to. Goodnight Moon.
Im not quite sure where to start. My hair is finally red again. So i feel like myself. Yaaaay! We are still trying to get our house a for sale sign. What a process that is. It doesnt help at all that our schedule is completely opposite of most people. And, im frusterated that David and I have one day off every two weeks together-which is always booked up-with most recently-moving. Packing is going slow. The rain is making me grumpy!
Okay, on a good note: My little sister Cassie and her Fiance Matt, had their baby!!!!!! On June 16th. Miss Audrey Estelle made her appearance at 5:20 pm, weighed 8lbs 3oz, and was 21" (i think?). She is a gorgeous baby. Im so proud of my lil sis. Shes doing a great job! I got to be there during the birth, and im honored that the two of them would share that special experience with me. Being there for her, and helping them, made me really want to pursue the thought of being a Doula, or L&D nurse. Ahhhh....dreams. But, I did feel right being there, I felt as if it were the right job for me. Helping a baby into the world is an amazing thing. I cant even explain it. We are kitty-sitting Cassie's kitty Jax too. He loved little Audrey so much, he wouldnt stop sneaking in her bassinette at night. So, he's here, with us. he's doing good adjusting. He definately doesnt like the big dogs. Ollie loves him lol.
The FREAKING rain needs to go away. It makes the dogs CRAZY. I cant wait to let them out into a fenced in yard, just to run! They need to run run run! They dont listen very well, and usually end up in the woods, or neighbors yards in Windham. But, when we move to Pownal they will be fenced in. I am excited to be more organized. Seeing my house in pieces right now, makes me wig out. I want to be able to cook my family good meals. Having dinner every night, together, would make me so happy. But, trying to find meals that David and I agree on...are few and far between. Pasta, Pizza, Chicken and Steak. And...Corn, String beans, asparagus, and rice are a few things we agree on. One thing I will make sure-Addison will LOVE her fruits and veggies! david hates fruit. So, it makes groceries and meals really hard when he is such a picky eater. I will give him a little credit, he will try new things, but usually doesnt like it. His newest find: Chicken pot pies. he likes them. LOL. Oh Oh Oh! Another good thing, after months, we finally got our tax returns. WOOT!
I want to go to the beach, I want to be careless and not worry about time. I have cut back on breastfeeding. Well, the pumping part. I dont make enough to keep up with my little brute. It breaks my heart. I think if I could be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) things would be totally different. But, I cant let her starve. She eats 3 solid meals a day, and she nurses and has formula in between. Right now shes having a growthspurt and shes having a hard time with teething. Still no teeth. But, hey she was walking at 9 months. Addie has been ahead on everything else. So, I dont mind that the teeth are somewhat late. We had to get a pack of disposable diapers, which bugs me. I'm having issues with some type of ammonia or detergent burn. So, Ive been trying to figure out a wash routine that works for us. We have hard water, thats treated with a softener. That makes things diffucult.
There are so many things I want to do this summer. We finally, after 3 years (our wedding) have a vacation!!! We could finally afford one. So, camping, davids gallbladder surgery, the boston aquarium, a concert in boston, a wedding in NH, more camping, beach....are all things i plan to tackle this summer. David will begin classes again at SMCC this fall. And, I have to remind myself to stop and breathe. I need to enjoy Addie while I can. Shes growing up so fast, and shes so smart. I want David to finish College before I even think about going. I have a feeling it will be a while, or maybe never. Oh well. Its a dream, and sometimes they come true. And, we are trying to plan baby #2, I guess you cant really plan them haha. They show up when they want, or when they are meant to be in your life. I have no idea if more kids are meant to be. But, If they are, I would love to have them. Im sure Addie would love a sibling. As one of my very old, very good friends put it: I told my husband I wanted another baby. He said no. I said, you went to school for what you wanted to do in life. There is no school for what I want to be which is a mom. There are promotions in your job. There are more babies as promotions, in my job. lol. thats probably not exactly word for word what my friend said, but I love the point.
I have been trying to get out of my negative funk. I think blogging helps, it makes me see the negative points I need to work on, and the positive good stuff in life, i can look forward to. Goodnight Moon.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Supermom
This is my first entry, so i'm a little nervous. It might be a little scatterbrained...which...is usually how I think.
I guess I will write my story from the time I became a mom. Motherhood has taught me alot! How you could love a little baby so much. I love Addison. She brightens my world up so much!
Most of you know, I was SO sick when I was pregnant with her. Until about 6 months prego, I was throwing up constantly, and I was in the hospital alot for IV fluids. Things eventually got better...and on August 20th, 2010, I became a mom. BEST DAY EVER. (Well, besides the day I married David.) We ended up falling behind on bills, because I was missing work. And we didnt get health insurance until i was almost past the hospital visits. I was so happy when David got the job at National. Amazing insurance! But, now, we are behind on alot. Especially with me being out for maternity leave. We planned bad, and didnt save enough. Somehow we miscalculated. Our $ situation has been getting better since I went back to work in November. But, I really miss my baby. Im breastfeeding, and working. That is tough for me, i hate pumping. And, lately I havent been making enough for her to eat. So as of last week we've been supplementing with formula. Ive been pretty depressed about this, but I'm thankful she still wants to nurse when Im home with her. So we just might make it to my goal: one year. On top of everything we have going on (Davids working 12 hour night shifts, im working nights, etc) we have finally decided we cannot afford the house anymore. This kills me. We worked so freakin hard to get this far. But I have to remind myself daily, we need to do whats best for our daughter. Staying in this house, isnt whats best. Actually, I really kind of hate this house. Its a split level, pain in the ass, hell hole. There is always something going wrong with it. The basement floods (wasnt disclosed when we bought it), so our basement cant be used. I dont trust it. Having a baby with 5 million toys on one floor, drives me crazy. It isnt really baby friendly. Especially with two huge Rottweilers. So thankfully, Davids mom is letting us rent her old house. We are going to sell ours. Our best bet, unfortunately would be short sale. We wouldnt get a dime. UGH. Oh well. I just want to move on. And speaking of MOVING. what a pain, with a walking baby. i cant seem to get anything done! Im the only one that packs...I try to pack a couple boxes a day. We moved one load this past weekend. What a flop that was. We got up before Addie, so we could get the van packed up (our boss is letting us use the big company van). Well David managed to hurt his back loading a heavy box. He was out of commission. I wasnt about to unload the van, so we drove over to Pownal house and I unloaded it all by myself. My mom came over to entertain Addie for me-thank goodness. We are hoping to move another load this weekend. It feels like Im always running. I never have time to stop and smell the roses. Im doing laundry, dishes, making baby food, washing diapers (Yes we cloth diaper!), nursing addie, cleaning, trying to find time for me to shower, and then I leave for work. im always so busy. And the poor dogs...i feel so guilty about they way they are attention deprived. I try to play with them when I get a second...and I try and walk Bruschi when its nice enough to bring Addie out. I feel like everything is my responsibility. Im needing to vent sometimes about everything I have to do. So I usually turn to my hubby, my best friend. Well tonight I told him Im tired of doing everything. he got mad at me for venting. I dont really have friends, so I guess I can vent to this page from now on. I feel like I never have time for anything. EVER. I really hope things get better once we move. maybe we can spend more time as a family. I would love that. And i would love to see my sisters more often. I really miss them. Im always telling Tonya I dont have time for her. I feel so bad. Poor Cassie lives in Oxford, so its a bit of a drive for me. Ive been wanting to visit, but again...when am I supposed to? I want to see Belinda...but our schedules clash. weekends are usually booked up for me, as david has every other saturday off. I want to go visit grandparents...show Addie off....I want to go see my Dad more...i used to bug him all the time. I miss it. This is what being a mom is. responsibility. I am glad though, that my mom and i have become close...like, better than ever. She watches Addie alot. And, we get to visit all the time. Im glad things are better between us. I want to go out and about, exploring, hiking, camping, I want to show addie the world! im so excited for our new adventures as parents. I hope we find the time for everything we want to do in life. I hope David graduates college with no problems. I cant wait until thats over. Thats enough for now. Im exhausted...and bed calls my name. thanks for letting me ramble!
~Char
I guess I will write my story from the time I became a mom. Motherhood has taught me alot! How you could love a little baby so much. I love Addison. She brightens my world up so much!
Most of you know, I was SO sick when I was pregnant with her. Until about 6 months prego, I was throwing up constantly, and I was in the hospital alot for IV fluids. Things eventually got better...and on August 20th, 2010, I became a mom. BEST DAY EVER. (Well, besides the day I married David.) We ended up falling behind on bills, because I was missing work. And we didnt get health insurance until i was almost past the hospital visits. I was so happy when David got the job at National. Amazing insurance! But, now, we are behind on alot. Especially with me being out for maternity leave. We planned bad, and didnt save enough. Somehow we miscalculated. Our $ situation has been getting better since I went back to work in November. But, I really miss my baby. Im breastfeeding, and working. That is tough for me, i hate pumping. And, lately I havent been making enough for her to eat. So as of last week we've been supplementing with formula. Ive been pretty depressed about this, but I'm thankful she still wants to nurse when Im home with her. So we just might make it to my goal: one year. On top of everything we have going on (Davids working 12 hour night shifts, im working nights, etc) we have finally decided we cannot afford the house anymore. This kills me. We worked so freakin hard to get this far. But I have to remind myself daily, we need to do whats best for our daughter. Staying in this house, isnt whats best. Actually, I really kind of hate this house. Its a split level, pain in the ass, hell hole. There is always something going wrong with it. The basement floods (wasnt disclosed when we bought it), so our basement cant be used. I dont trust it. Having a baby with 5 million toys on one floor, drives me crazy. It isnt really baby friendly. Especially with two huge Rottweilers. So thankfully, Davids mom is letting us rent her old house. We are going to sell ours. Our best bet, unfortunately would be short sale. We wouldnt get a dime. UGH. Oh well. I just want to move on. And speaking of MOVING. what a pain, with a walking baby. i cant seem to get anything done! Im the only one that packs...I try to pack a couple boxes a day. We moved one load this past weekend. What a flop that was. We got up before Addie, so we could get the van packed up (our boss is letting us use the big company van). Well David managed to hurt his back loading a heavy box. He was out of commission. I wasnt about to unload the van, so we drove over to Pownal house and I unloaded it all by myself. My mom came over to entertain Addie for me-thank goodness. We are hoping to move another load this weekend. It feels like Im always running. I never have time to stop and smell the roses. Im doing laundry, dishes, making baby food, washing diapers (Yes we cloth diaper!), nursing addie, cleaning, trying to find time for me to shower, and then I leave for work. im always so busy. And the poor dogs...i feel so guilty about they way they are attention deprived. I try to play with them when I get a second...and I try and walk Bruschi when its nice enough to bring Addie out. I feel like everything is my responsibility. Im needing to vent sometimes about everything I have to do. So I usually turn to my hubby, my best friend. Well tonight I told him Im tired of doing everything. he got mad at me for venting. I dont really have friends, so I guess I can vent to this page from now on. I feel like I never have time for anything. EVER. I really hope things get better once we move. maybe we can spend more time as a family. I would love that. And i would love to see my sisters more often. I really miss them. Im always telling Tonya I dont have time for her. I feel so bad. Poor Cassie lives in Oxford, so its a bit of a drive for me. Ive been wanting to visit, but again...when am I supposed to? I want to see Belinda...but our schedules clash. weekends are usually booked up for me, as david has every other saturday off. I want to go visit grandparents...show Addie off....I want to go see my Dad more...i used to bug him all the time. I miss it. This is what being a mom is. responsibility. I am glad though, that my mom and i have become close...like, better than ever. She watches Addie alot. And, we get to visit all the time. Im glad things are better between us. I want to go out and about, exploring, hiking, camping, I want to show addie the world! im so excited for our new adventures as parents. I hope we find the time for everything we want to do in life. I hope David graduates college with no problems. I cant wait until thats over. Thats enough for now. Im exhausted...and bed calls my name. thanks for letting me ramble!
~Char
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)